Wednesday, February 25, 2009

from absence

The Coast Is Clear

If there is any reason for my being avoidant (note: not the disorder) these days, it would be to spare myself from saying potentially mean and damaging things. You see, I was never much for trash talking and voicing out criticism because I know how contagious this stuff can be. You hear someone put a person down, next thing you know is you've chimed in to whatever that someone has said. What makes things worse is that you will most likely be unaware of the weight of your words; in your head, you are merely stating opinion. But there are limits to expressing opinions, too.

So... does it make a difference if I am not completely aware that what I'm saying is mean and damaging? I mean, I don't mean it 100%. Well, I've been thinking. Does it? Considerations seem welcome at first. Because, you know, I don't mean it 100%.

Then I tried looking at it on a more personal scale. Doing so, I realized that you will never know what could be done by mean words until you've been the receiving end, until you've felt how it is to be the one "out." The moment you have been the receiving end, the moment you know how "out" feels, previous considerations won't seem so welcome anymore.

I really do not know what it is in us humans that makes criticizing so enjoyable. It is funny how we can apply the "Golden Rule" to every other situation in our lives, except this. All I know is that this is a flesh issue, and that will always be something beyond us humans. For now, all I can do is stay aware, stay silent and stay away.


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And good thing Romans 8:1-2, 5-7 read

"So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death...

Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God's laws, and it never will."

because 1.) I know I am not "out," and 2.) I don't have to feel too bad. :)

posted by biancaaafranca @ 9:15 PM
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